Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sharks-Whoa-How Did This Slip By?!

According to credible sources on the Internet a small Blacktip shark was found washed up in Lake Michigan.

Before all you Global Warming loons scream "Seeee, it's because of da warming" (don't get us wrong G.W is happening, but not right here) let us dissect this "tail" a bit further for you (we love doing this).

1. Blacktips (Carcharhinus limbatus) are saltwater critters

2. Lake Michigan is a filthy polluted fresh water body

3. There's no frickin' way this critter lived in these waters

Summation: Someone probably had a Blacktip in a home aquarium that died and decided to add a #3 Halibut hook as "bling" and then hucked it into the lake under cover of darkness and under the influence of a 3/4 case of Coors Light.

You will discover, as we have, that most shark killing miscreants drink Coors Light. We're not sure why that is the case, but take it from us-a credible Internet Source, that is the case.

The red nose on this guy and a fake look of concern is a dead giveaway and more than suspicious.


Steamdiver said...

Fake, faker, fakest. That guys a faker!

Anonymous said...

Obviously, you have never been in Lake Michigan. It is not polluted as a matter of fact, all of Chicago and Milwaukee drink Lake Michigan water after running it through a sand filter and sprinkling a little chlorine in it. Since the early 1980's, zebra mussels, an invasive species of mini-mussels pumped from the bilge of a visiting freighter from some communist country have spread in the Great Lakes. The zebra mussel has devoured many of the itty bitty critters that kept the waters of the Great Lakes relatively opaque. Now Lake Michigan is the same azure blue that you'll see in the British Virgin Islands, the Caymans, and any number of tropic seas. And another excellent question, did the alleged black tipped shark climb UP Niagara Falls or maneuver the Welland Canal.

Why don't you geniuses learn something before you flap open your blow holes!