Thursday, January 17, 2008

Japan: Sumo Champion Challenges Paul Watson

Japan (CMN) Yokozuna Asashoryu, Tokyo's top Sumo wrestler, issued a wrestling challenge to Captain Paul Watson of Sea Shepherd today.

Known in Japan as the "Can Crusher" Mr. Asashoryu is currently defending himself on two charges of child endangerment after issuing a similar challenge to Tokyo's Boy Scouts Troop No.14 for the right to sell cookies door to door. He went undefeated in 16 matches against the troop leaving some with broken bones.

Paul Watson is currently chasing elements of Japans whaling fleet in the waters of Antarctica, where two of his crew members are being held as "hostages" on board Japanese vessel Yushin Maru No. 2.

"We will decide the fate of these two crew members and the future of Japans whale hunt in the ring of honor" Yokozuna shouted to a sold out crowd of fans at Tokyo's Staples Arena.

Japans Foreign Minister, Masahiko KĊmura, has agreed with the challenge saying "Mr.Watson should join us here in Tokyo rather than attempt to interrupt our Glorious Imperial...ahem...peaceful whaling fleet in Antarctica".

Sea Shepherd has been unavailable for comment.

This current underwater Onion was brought to you by Shark Diver. The news just keeps getting stranger.

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