Mid East Undersea Cable Mystery-Solved!

Dubai (CMN)- As conspiracy theories build over the sudden and "mysterious"disconnect of 5 intercontinental data cables connecting large areas of Asia, the Middle East and North Africa. A small team of specialized "cable divers" went down to investigate the reason for the sudden destruction.

What they discovered this week has shocked the world and answered the nagging question "Where did 5 Billion Dollars earmarked for Iraq's reconstruction go?".

Dive team leader John Magor from Dubai Salvage and Tow came right to the point, "We discovered an entire underwater city, complete with working tram lines (click image) that had inadvertently cut these cables when they ran over them". "This city is brand new, with hundreds buildings...even a Starbucks!".

The US State Department put out the following press release this afternoon, " Yes, dammit, we did build an entire city for 800,000 underwater. Everything we built above water in Iraq was being blown up, so we thought this was a good use of the Taxpayers money".

The following Underwater Onion was brought to you by Shark Diver. Seriously, this whole undersea cable thing is a bit spooky.

Killer Whales+Kayaks=Astounding Video

You gotta hand it to the kayak guy in this next video. Not sure if we would have the right "metal state" to wave to the crowd after getting smashed and rolled by 4 tons of frisky whale. Then again this could just be a Korean commercial with great CGI:

Molokai Shark at 3300'

Score one for for the science guys this week. A video surfaced of one of our all time favorite underwater "denzines of the deep" the Six Gill Shark.

What makes this critter interesting is it's ability to flourish in water temps hovering in the 40's and less, and at a depth of over 5000'. This one was filmed at 3300' and with his 18 foot profile we were not surprised to hear the normally laid back deep water guys saying "Holy Crap!".