Oil Rigs and Sperm Whales - Amazing

Down at 3000' in the Gulf of Mexico a drill teams ROV is doing a visual search of ongoing drilling operations.

That's when things got very, very interesting:

US Coast Guard Admiral Asks James Cameron For Oil Help

7th Coast Guard District

U.S. Coast Guard


News Release

Date: May 28, 2010

Contact: Anna M. Tulane

(305) 797-4444

US Coast Guard Admiral Asks James Cameron For Alien Help With BP Spill

KEY WEST, Fla. - Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen asked Hollywood filmmaker James Cameron (Titanic, The Abyss, Avatar) for help with the ongoing British Petroleum spill in the Gulf of Mexico today.

"We're hoping he can ask his alien buddies from that movie The Abyss down there to help us shut down this well," said Admiral Allen in a press conference with Mr.Cameron today.

In 1989 director Cameron featured deep sea aliens who could stop nuclear bombs from exploding and had complete alien powers over water, being able to move ships and equipment with ease at depth.

Capt. Matt DeAngelo, commanding officer of Sector Key West, Florida has been tasked with coordinating with The Abyss Aliens once they arrive, establishing a Unified Abyss Alien Command comprised of members from the Coast Guard, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and the Department of the Interior.

"We need to use every asset at our disposal, and these aliens seem like the best option we have at the moment after a month of failed efforts and millions of gallons of oil and dispersant floating around out there" DeAngelo said. "We will continue to operate the Unified Abyss Alien Command as long as the aliens want to work with us, from what I have seen they are pretty handy with equipment."

Efforts to contact The Abyss Aliens will start at 11.30 Eastern with the blowing of Conch Shells from vessels stationed in the 30,000 square mile disaster zone.

The public is asked to report the sighting of any Abyss Aliens to the U.S. Coast Guard at 1 (800) 444-8802.

The public is reminded that The Abyss Aliens are shy and delicate comprised of "jelly like" material, which while not dangerous to most people can cause an allergic reaction and should only be touched by trained personnel.

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The following Underwater Onion brought to you by Shark Diver. Attempting levity in the face of America's Oceanic Chernobyl.

Oil, Disasters and Lawyers - Toxic Mix

Who bears the ultimate responsibility for America's Chernobyl off the Gulf coast?

If you asked an oil executive on Capitol Hill yesterday you got a Circular Firing Squad answer tailored by $800/hr corporate lawyers.

The blame game has begun, while an estimated 5-25,600 barrels a day explodes into the pristine waters of the Gulf.

For lawyers on both side of this on going eco disaster big oil equals big money.

BP's legal teams in the Gulf are already into questionable legal waiver practices making sub contractors working on oil clean up projects limit the amount of money they can accept to a one time payout of $5000.

"Pay all legitimate claims," is the current catch phrase for oil executives that leave them in a titanic grey area almost as big as the oil slick now covering the Gulf.

One thing is for sure, when the final bill does come for this mess, BP, Transocean and Hallibuton will be paying out on a three tiered system. House legal team first, opposing legal team second, and pennies on the dollar to whoever and whatever is left of the once magnificent Gulf.