Dear Google, Why?

Like many out there I light a scented candle and lay down some fresh SEO Fruit at the altar of Google each and every day. I have been doing this for as long as I can remember as a businessman who relies on Google for my daily traffic.

Google has become part of my routine and part of my family.

Like any beloved family member if you see them going off the rails you want to help. So Google I am here to help in regards to the announcement of Project Glass.

Some Tough Intervention Love

First of all Google you are not Apple. This made painfully evident by the fact you have released a version 0.1 of a product that has no hope in hell of making it into the wider tech sphere let alone the public commercial space.

What you have created with Project Glass is a bio-human catastrophic media machine waiting to happen. A futuristic toy that flies in the face that America ranks 16th in broadband and every single supplier of 3G, 4G and presumably 5G are currently throttling down bandwidth as fast as they can.

If you had been Apple, you would have released a finished and fully vetted product to waiting hoards produced at Gulag style tech sweatshops across China. Accompanied by some underweight and slightly anemic looking Norwegian singer with a catchy, simply irresistible, yet undefined techno beat.

That's how you do tech.

Not to mention the wails of discontent, the gnashing of teeth, as your early adopters are bedeviled by a product that is so high tech and fragile it fails daily life spectacularly. Imagine the horrors that await Project Glass in the marketplace.

In case you have not yet conceived of such real world tech horrors we have listed a few:

1. Moisture.

2. Children under five with sticky fingers.

3. Burning Man.

4. Looking down into the dark depths of a port-o-potty whilst in the middle of a Susan G Koman 'Run For The Cure' race in New York, watching your now branded 'Google DG Glasses' slide into the dark depths forever.

5. Re-watching, over and over, the video of your $500 'Google DG Glasses' on You Tube slide into the dark depths from an altogether unholy first tech perspective.

We're just trying to help Google so please reconsider this tech disaster and return to your roots.

I will be adding some more SEO Fruit to the Google altar today in your honor.



About Shark Diver. As a global leader in commercial shark diving and conservation initiatives Shark Diver has spent the past decade engaged for sharks around the world. Our blog highlights all aspects of both of these dynamic and shifting worlds. You can reach us directly at sharkcrew@gmail.com.

Shark Tech-UW Text Messaging

Let's file this one under bad idea. The world of SCUBA has too many gadgets, gizmo's and well meaning bell-wiz-modo's for our tastes here at Underwater Thrills.

What ever happened to the old school days of a raggedy BCD, a good dive knife, and enough air to last maybe 30 minutes? THOSE were the days of diving my friend.

Now along comes this little number that will allow you to "text message" your dive buddy with the following message "there's a shark behind you!"

If the company that made this device has not realized it yet-text messaging is a pox on humanity. It eats up time, most text messages are pretty boring, and frankly if you're a diver we cannot see anyone spending the ten minutes to type out a message to a basic point underwater.

Anyway, here's the link to the blog Slash Gear in case you need another piece of plastic electric garbage attached to your gear this year.

Oh, and this WILL set you back $1300

Great White Shark-Geek Tech

The good folks at Shark Tech have created the ultimate geek divers dream. The "Shark Shooter".

O.K, it's not called the "Shark Shooter"-but it might as well be called that. What you are looking at is the latest advance in diver tech. Now a lot of you old school underwater shooters will say "this is a scuba abomination, be gone from our web browsers!".

Ye, of little faith. Remember the great underwater war between film and digital shooters, now who's laughing?

For those of you out there who like to shoot sharks, this mask-6 gig camera combo allows you to be hands free, so you can hold a big fish carcass and bring the sharks in even closer.

As Britney Spears would say-Cool Ya'll!

Unfortunately these masks only come in classic yum-yum yellow, but heck, with that fish carcass in your hands perhaps the 16 foot Tiger shark you just chummed in will not notice.

Geek on Diverman!